Monday, November 11, 2013

They Want to Help You...

Over the weekend I sold an old DirecTV receiver on Craigslist. It had been sitting in our garage for over a year, back since the company sent out a new receiver model at my request. DirecTV told us we could just keep the old one. It was an older model and they didn't want it back. So it sat in the garage for months until, after changing my scooter's oil and spying the old receiver box in the garage, I thought, hey, why not sell this for some cash? I called DirecTV to verify I could actually sell the box and they said, sure, just take out the little card in front, and I was free to see what I could get for it.

I must have under-priced it at $50 because I received several emails (and, unfortunately, a bunch of no-shows, too). One of the potential buyers said that I wouldn't actually be able to sell it, but after calling DirecTV a second time they confirmed that, yes, I could...just take out the card first. Finally, on Saturday, a guy named Erin texted and, after we worked out the details, actually said he was on his way over. I packed up the receiver and when Erin arrived he complimented the neighborhood, asked a few questions, and paid full price without any negotiation. (Side tip to readers: as a buyer, negotiate price on the phone ahead of time. Once you're at the point of sale, your leverage is lessened. The seller knows you're less likely to walk away from the deal after having driven all the way there. An alternative, though harder to pull off, is to have the seller bring the item to you or to some location that is closer to you than them. Both tactics play off the Sunk Cost Fallacy. Though it's illogical, no one wants to waste the sunk cost of time or gasoline involved in the trip, and will take a sub-optimal deal to avoid that waste.)

Unfortunately, I got a text later in the day from Erin. DirecTV told him he couldn't activate the receiver since it was leased. And it couldn't be transferred, no exceptions. He asked to meet up again, and since he'd driven all the way from the other side of town, could we meet up somewhere closer to him? I texted him that I was sorry that DirecTV was giving me bad information, and I would be happy to refund his money. But, if he could wait for just a bit while I called DirecTV to confirm, I'd appreciate it.

So I called the company and the first person I talked to said, no, Erin was wrong, I should be fine to sell it. I asked, "Are you sure? Because the guy I sold it is on the phone with DirecTV and is being told it can't be transferred to him." At that point the rep said, "Oh, you're right, it's leased so it actually can't be sold. Sorry."

"But you don't want it back?" I asked.

"No, it's an older model and you can keep it."

"So I can keep it, but cannot sell it. And you don't want it. Since I only have one television and I already have a working receiver, I should just throw it away?"

"Hmm. Yes, I guess you should probably just throw it away."

"But I cannot not sell it? Or give it back to you?"

"I know it doesn't make sense, but, no."

They Want to Help You
At this point I went back to one of my old negotiating saws, which is maybe my favorite insight into collaborative negotiations: the other party wants to help you. I don't know where this phrase came from. But, when it's looking like I am going to get a "No," I come back to a simple truth that applies to collaborative negotiations with current service providers: they do actually want to help me. I am their customer. These negotiations aren't combative, unless I make them that way. The person on the other end of the phone or other side of the counter does want to solve my problem. It is likely their mission to help me, as the customer. I just have to frame the conversation around that truth.

So I tried to describe the situation as a problem that DirecTV could help me solve. Because of the information I received earlier in the week (and then again today), this guy Erin had driven over 40 miles to pick up the receiver. Now I wanted to help him avoid making the trip again, wasting more time and gas, and to help him avoid thinking I was scamming him. I wasn't, after all...I was just doing what the company had told me to do. Since DirecTV had told me to sell it, and there were notes in the system confirming this, was there any way they could make an exception with this receiver and let me sell it?

"It's unfortunately against our policy," the rep said.

"I understand, I do. But I'd really love to help avoid this guy having to drive another 40 miles just to get his money back. I think he's pretty angry and I'd want to do something to make him feel whole. I know it's against policy, but is there any way we might be able to change this receiver's status?"

"I can't, but my supervisor might be able to. I can ask her if you'd like."

Be Nice, Be Thankful
The key when getting transferred is to get the initial representative on your side first. Remember, they want to help you, so this shouldn't be entirely difficult. My "tactic" is simple: be overly nice, and preposterously thankful. For any attempt at assistance they provide, I say "Thank you," and mean it. I ask the person on the other end of the line how her day is going. I make small talk. I ask what part of the country I am calling to. When she puts me on hold to see what she can do, I say, "Thank you so much for looking into that," and I do so sincerely. My hope is that the initial rep sees me as a good customer whom she is advocating for with her supervisor, rather than some angry jerk she just wants to punt to her boss.

Be Patient - Finding the Right Person Takes Time
After explaining the situation again, and using the magic tactic of being nice, the supervisor actually agreed to change the receiver's status from leased to purchased. Unfortunately, her computer system wouldn't allow her to make the change, either. But she knew of a Card Activation Team who might be able to help. I asked if she could stay on the line and explain the problem to her colleague. While she couldn't stay on the line, she was willing to make notes in the account that would hopefully persuade her colleague.

Trying to turn a long story short, Amy, the final person I spoke to on the Card Activation Team, after hearing my side of the story, finally said she'd "Do me a solid, even though we never do this," and changed the leased receiver to a purchased unit. Erin would be able to activate the receiver once he got a new card. I again thanked her about a half dozen times, told her I was going to write a blog post about how she and her colleagues went above and beyond, and called Erin to give him the good news. The excellent people at DirecTV made two customers happy, Erin had a working receiver, and I had fifty dollars for something that, apparently, belonged in the trash. Everyone walked away happy, everyone got what they wanted.

Takeaways
This is a lot of nonsense to go through for only $50 and to avoid just throwing a perfectly good DVR in the trash. But I tell the story because I often forget how much easier it is to negotiate from a perspective of helpful collaboration. Half the time I'd have fallen into a victim mentality, harping on the fact that DirecTV gave me bad information, and they were to blame for this situation in the first place. I could whine about how they owed me, that I was in the right, and it might even be reasonable. But here's the problem: no one wants to help that guy. Each one of the women I spoke to would probably just like to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Why help a jerk? But the nice guy, the one that's actually somewhere inside me even when I'm having a bad day or dealing with a frustrating situation, everyone wants to help that guy. 

*Photo is from Redrock Junction at Flickr Creative Commons.

52 comments:

  1. What a very valuable lesson you taught your readers there! Impressive, really, and I mean it. It is not about the amount,right? It is about correcting a situation that was not supposed to have gone wrong in the first place and you succeeded.

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    1. Thanks, Jen! I agree that it really wasn't about the money in this case. I really did feel bad for the guy, and (as an extrovert) it was somehow very important to me that he knew I wasn't trying to scam him over Craigslist.

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  2. Nice story! I too saw that being the nice guy (which I usually am, fortunately) is better than being bossy and a total jerk. Just like you said, nobody wants to help a jerk so... why not be the nice guy? Good read!

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    1. You do seem like a really nice guy, C. Thanks for the kind words.

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  3. I LOVE this story.

    Let's see... how to apply this to my current situation. The good folks at Medicaid want to help me get my application denied ASAP so I can FINALLY get into the exchange to buy insurance. They (and Donald Trump) apparently have a very hard time believing that birth certificates issued in Hawaii are real... so I have to spend several hours down at social services convincing the nice women there that yes, that's really what Hawaiian birth certificates look like... and they need "proof" that I make too much money to qualify for the Medicaid expansion ("proof" consisting of a P & L statement that I knocked out in Excel in a few hours) and they really want to help me, but the computers are down... but they really want to help me... and even though I applied on the second of October they might not be able to give me an answer by December 15... but they want to help me...

    I know! Maybe I just have to get on the phone and be sugary sweet and ask if anybody over there has the authority to look at two numbers and determine that one is greater than the other.

    OK... I'm being sarcastic. Clearly you're much better at this stuff than I am! :-)

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    1. Oh, man. Yeah, that Medicaid situation sounds ridiculously complicated. That said, I think the principle (while no silver bullet) can only help.

      I should probably write about some times when my tactics fail. :)

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  4. Wow, great work, DB40!! Yes, being nice generally does get you far, doesn't it. I actually had two experiences in the last week where being nice, but firm, got me free stuff from companies. Actually, with the second one, I had to be a b______ with the one gal, b/c she refused to help me, but then the supervisor got on the line and we worked it all out, nicely. :-)

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    1. Thanks, Laurie! Yeah, sometimes if being nice isn't working, being a "B" is the next best option. It can work, too.

      And thanks for the chance to share my favorite Community songs...

      http://youtu.be/bv5XlcdAyoM

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86NTk2woxPU

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  5. Great story! It reminds me of the old saying, "you catch more flies with honey." What bugs me most is that we might be cramming our landfills with these kinds of things for this very reason, which is silly. I'm glad you pursued this.

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    1. Hi Tonya,

      I totally should have used that saying! Yeah, I think I would have had to just kept trying rather than throw it away. My wife and I have a really hard time throwing away things that still have value. I probably would have put it out on the curb and just hoped for the best, as a last resort.

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  6. Wow, great job. I'd just toss the thing. :(
    It's a win win win situation for everyone. I try to be nice to everyone, but I'm not very patient.

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    1. Hi Joe! I'm definitely not always nice, either. I see red if I get attitude from a customer service rep, and usually it goes down hill pretty quickly after that...with a lose-lose.

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  7. That's awesome! I've always had the worst experiences with DirecTV. It's one company that I hate with a freakin passion. A few years ago I switched from Dish to DirecTV and my bill was lower for the first six months and then it doubled. I called several times and was nice as can be and they'd never lower my bill. They always told me to call back in a couple of weeks to see what promotions they had. Anyway to make long story short I felt like they completely ripped me off and switched back to Dish. Glad your niceness was able to get somewhere.

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    1. Hi Alexa,

      I'm sorry that they weren't willing to work with you. I think I've hit my threshold on DirecTV posts for like, ever, but I've been able to negotiate our bill downwards. Usually I'll just say that the bill is too high and that we're thinking of just going with Hulu or Netflix...that's usually good for $10 or $20 off for a 6-12 months.

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  8. I love your lessons on negotiating. You must be a pretty persuasive person. I'm generally always nice to the customer reps on the phone as I figure I can get more bees with honey than vinegar. As for the sunk cost fallacy, if I were the seller and drove all the way over to bring an item to the buyer after negotiating a price and then the buyer tries to bargain for an even lower price, I might be so peeved that I'd take the hit rather than give him the lower price...just based on principles.

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    1. Andrew,
      I'm probably portraying myself in way too positive a light. I think I should start writing about my negotiation failures. Sometimes it's just luck, I think, when it works out.

      Oh, and on the sunk cost fallacy, I would wait to negotiate until in person if the seller is coming to me (rather than changing the price previously agreed upon). I should just have said that choosing a time to negotiate price should depend on when the other party has the greatest amount of time/money/gas invested.

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  9. Wow - it just goes to show how being nice and thankful can really make a difference. Sometimes these companies have policies where they do things a certain way and it's hard to get them to change the way they do things. I think you negotiated brilliantly to get a great result for both you and Erin! Great post and I'll be thinking of this the next time I ring up a supplier with an issue!

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    1. Thanks, Hayley! Company policies are definitely an obstacle, as they often put employees in a conflicted position: wanting to toe the company line and also wanting to help the customer.

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  10. I love this post, as I fully agree that it helps to be nice versus otherwise - what's the saying, you draw more bees with honey than vinegar! Something to that effect. That's awesome that you took some extra steps for your buyer, that's very kind of you to do!

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    1. Thank you, Anna. I probably was being more self-interested than it appears, though. If DirecTV didn't agree to let me sell the equipment to Erin, I wouldn't be able to sell it to anyone else either. :(

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  11. I'm glad you persevered and sweet-talked your way into the receiver status change. Like you said, win-win! Yet another example that being nice is the best way to get what you want.

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    1. It's an awesome feeling to participate in something where every party is happy with the result. Being nice wins out. :)

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  12. You maintained your composure much better than I would have. I think I would have noticable irritated at "I can't sell this but I can't return it either". That seems absolutely crazy that they have a policy like that. If they are forfeiting an item, then the end user should be able to do with it as they wish. Way to stay calm though and find a solution everyone could be happy with.

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    1. It is a crazy policy, Micro, but I kind of see where they're coming from. If they allow leased equipment to be sold on a large scale, eventually they'll cut into both their sales of leased and purchased equipment. Still, on the micro level, yuck yuck, it creates an idiotic problem of what to do with old equipment.

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  13. Nice win. Mr PoP had a similar experience when he went around to Lowes and Home Depot this weekend returning all those unopened things we had found in the garage. I doubted he'd get anything for them (some had been in there for 4 years!), but he did a lot of the legwork beforehand and was as sweet as he could be and they spent time looking everything up and getting him as much store credit as they could.

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    1. That's dang impressive, Mrs. Pop. Getting credit for four year old merchandise (I'm assuming without receipts) is no small feat. Well done!

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  14. I had some great experiences with DirecTV. I unlocked the box for my tenant downstairs to order movies and for him to reimburse me. It worked well for a few weeks until he had guest stay with him a week. The daughter playing with the remote racked up nearly $300 in charges. After calling and discussing with several reps they credited back $200+ which really helps. Asking nicely really helps.

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    1. Hi Charles,
      Yeah, that's a tricky situation but it's great that you were able to get some of the charges reversed. In general I think they're a pretty good company to work with, though it takes some persistence.

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  15. I enjoy your posts on negotiation tactics as well. I always try to be nice on the phone, as I would think they'd be more likely to help those that aren't a pain to deal with. I am glad everything worked out in the end, even if it took three phone calls. That's a bit excessive, but I would have tried to right the wrong, too, even if I technically didn't cause the wrong. 40 miles is a lot to travel!

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    1. Thanks, EM! Yeah, sometimes just continuing to swing the bat is the key to getting a hit. It only takes one!

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  16. You're right - it's sometimes so much easier to get help when you're nice and side with them/side with you style. That being said, I also believe the adage that the squeaky wheel gets the oil, so it's a delicate game to work out what strategy you want to use - and I really don't want to be disliked, even by strangers!!

    I just got off the phone from the elect company - I asked them in August to let me have my elect and gas with them, supposedly they sent me a letter for info I didn't have (for my new property, til I got a bill, to know the detail but also I wouldn't know which company it was with til then either)! Anyhow, I have to wait for it to move companies, and only then can I link the two, and get one bill per quarter. I wasn't that nice, and I'm not that happy to have to call back, but I didn't try 'nice' to get me the linked accounts without another call. I do wonder now how I could have played it differently?!

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    1. Hi Sarah,

      It's hard to say. Sometimes I think confirmation bias is in play with my strategies. I'm looking for evidence that a certain tactic works, so when I see it my worldview is confirmed.

      All in all, there are many roads to Rome...riding the squeaky wheel may be the quickest way there!

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  17. Really great stuff here. It's amazing how many times I've gotten something simply because I was kind, polite and persistent. You're spot on: they DO want to help you. At least in most cases. And in any event, being a generally kind and positive person is a much happier way to go through life than being a jerk.

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    1. Thank you for the comment, Matt, and the tweet, too! And even if being nice doesn't always get the desired result, it's still a great way to be.

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  18. Whenever I have great customer experiences like this, I too am thrilled to experience. It's interesting you sensed that the person wanted to help you... I feel I've experienced that with AmEx a few times too and have received the help I was looking for. I don't think I'll need satellite TV anytime soon but this definitely shows the great service of DirecTV

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    1. Hi Tara,

      Amex has fantastic customer service -- some of the best I've ever encountered. I think that's been their differentiator for a long time.

      I think there's probably a bigger message in the idea of the people around us wanting to help, but I can't nail it down yet.

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  19. I really enjoyed this article; like you, I go out of my way to thank people and to be kind, as you have to imagine they get 90%+ negative comments and irate people all day, and it's nice to hear something positive for once.
    This does sound like a lot of work for $50, but it's unquestionably the principle here; win-win-win for you, Erin and DirecTV and one less electronic device taking up space in a landfill.

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    1. Brad, that's a fantastic point that I failed to mention. I think being nice works so well because it's pretty rare. Phone reps deal with people who are angry and frustrated all the time that you're automatically an outlier if you are genuinely nice.

      All in all, picking up the phone a few times for $50, while work, is really easy work. First world work. :)

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  20. Couldn't agree more about getting the rep on your side during such negotiations! A bit of patience and kindness can go a LONG way when trying to have exceptions made. And way to go--such a nice thing to do!

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    1. Thank you, Jen. Just getting the other party on your side is probably most of the trick, and being nice is a great way to do so.

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  21. I can personally attest that Mr.Done by Forty is a master negotiator. Having seen him in action on many occasions I'm still continually impressed. Being a conflict-adverse person myself, the idea of both parties coming out of a negotiation feeling good has really helped me. I used to assume that there was always a winner and loser in a negotiation, and I really didn't have much desire to be either (since in winning I thought I'd inevitably be taking advantage of someone else). But since watching the Mr. charm the pants off several sales people (usually ladies) and hang up with them laughing and him feeling like he got a good deal, I see that in a truly successful collaborative negotiation everyone wins.

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    1. Hey, who's charming the pants off of ladies?!?! :)

      Thanks, babe -- you're way too generous in that comment. I know you've seen me strike out plenty, and I have to credit you with teaching me to get to win-win. Love ya, babe.

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  22. Great story Done By, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! You did a great job of illustrating salesmanship 101. It's funny, people always say they don't "do sales" but this everyday life example shows how we are always selling something, whether it be ourselves or a solution to our problem. So, really what it boils down to, is being an effective communicator, which you my friend, seem to have a good grasp of. Congrats!

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    1. Thanks, Jim. That's a great perspective: we really all do sell (or negotiate) something on a pretty regular basis...probably daily. I love the thought of it all just being a conversation/communication though. People hate being 'sold' but have a need to communicate. There's probably an art to selling without it making it seem like that.

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  23. Great narrative. This is a great post on sales in general. Be nice, be thankful, be firm, an always find a reason to shift blame away from connected parties. By blaming the unfortunate situation and the excess driving time, neither you, nor them, nor Erin were to blame. Great work.

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    1. Thanks, Jacob! You're now the second person to mention it's a commentary on sales and I really hadn't thought of it that way. As a procurement guy, I never really think about personally employing sales techniques. But from being around salespeople and account reps all the time, I suppose it's bound to rub off. :)

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  24. I commend you on your persistence! If I were in your position, I would have gotten frustrated after 10 minutes and call it a day.

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    1. I think there's some wisdom in knowing when to call it quits, though, Lisa. Sometimes I think I need to re-learn that lesson. ;)

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  25. ARGGH! I wish you had written this 6 months ago!!! We moved into our house and had an old received just sitting on the side of the house. I tossed it, and now feel bad for tossing $50 in the garbage, on top of having more in the landfill.

    On the plus side, this just adds to my "be nice" mantra that I keep telling myself, trying to learn... Thanks for the story!

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    1. Thanks, Mrs. 1500. I think I was probably a few more phone calls from following in your footsteps. But luckily, this time it worked out.

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  26. I love this post. It's really true that when you check what you BELIEVE about a customer service rep (or anyone really) it greatly affects both how you treat them and the potential of your outcome to be positive. Great story, thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thanks for the kind words, 2 Copper Coins (cool name, too). You're right: what we believe about the people we interact with often shapes the outcomes we get from the interaction.

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