Monday, August 26, 2013

Confusing Yard Work Experience, Part II

I am traveling for work for the first half of the week, attending some all day training sessions, so I only have a short blog post today. Apologies to those whose blogs I haven't been able to read or visit lately. The bosses have us going back to back all day, and then there is the networking at the bar after work. I see a bunch of great stuff in my reader but it will have to wait until Wednesday evening, when I get back. Such are the complaints of the first world yuppie. Poor me, being forced to learn about my field in an air conditioned building, and then not being able to read interesting articles through a magic wireless device when I want to, because I'm drinking beer and eating bar food instead.


Today's post is a little story my wife shared with me tonight, after we ran through her proposal defense over Skype. Remember last month when our neighbor asked to do some yard work for very little money? So that story got a continuation today. While my wife was working through some last minute edits of her PhD proposal & presentation, the doorbell rang. She could see from the window that it was our elderly Latino neighbor, and he probably wanted to ask about doing some yard work. Being that she was less than 48 hours away from an important deadline, she just pretended to not be home and got back to work.

Five minutes later, she heard the whirl of a lawn mower. At this point she was a little upset, because we hadn't really decided if we wanted to outsource our yard work yet. And regardless, isn't there an expectation that one should speak to the homeowner before sauntering onto someone's property and operating gas powered equipment? So, she walked outside and said, "Hi there!" over the lawnmower. At which point, our neighbor turned off the mower, looked at my wife, and started to cry. Tears down the cheeks, something is clearly wrong, crying.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"My uncle died. I just need to do something."

"Your uncle died? You don't have to do yard work now," she said. "Is there family you can be with?"

"I want to be out of the house. I want to do the yard if that's okay."

"Is your family home though? Do you want to be with them?"

At this point he said something about his sister, with whom there seems to be some tension, but his English and my wife's Spanish can only convey so much.

My wife is ridiculously sweet, and there was zero chance she would say no to a crying old man who just wanted to mow our grass. It did seem odd that his own yard was not the one he chose to trim, but if this was what he needed, then great. She said it was fine to keep going, went back inside, and got back to work. A little later she heard the bristles of a broom sweeping off our front porch, and then the doorbell rang again.

"Okay, all finished."

"Oh, great. It looks wonderful, thank you."

"So, whatever amount you think is fine."

While my wife thought this was some sort of odd, mower-based therapy for our mourning neighbor, it was also apparently a job for which he expected to be paid. My wife explained to him that she had no cash (she just puts everything on the card), to which our neighbor in mourning replied:

"Really? You don't have anything?"

My wife went through the house and managed to scrounge up all the cash she could find in old purses and wallets. This amounted to two single dollar bills, leading her to immediately feel like crap.

"I'm really sorry, but all I have is two dollars."

"Oh, that's okay," he said, and walked away.

I am not sure how to feel about all this. Angry? Guilty? Defensive? Happy, that my yard is clean for a mere two bucks? Two dollars is, without a doubt, an insulting sum to pay for any amount of work. It is also a particularly awful amount to pay someone who is grieving the death of a family member. Still, our side yard is about twenty feet by fifteen feet and our front porch is half that size. My wife thinks he was out there for twenty minutes, tops. Oh, and there is the pesky fact that we did not actually ask anyone to work in our yard in exchange for money. As usual, I am at a loss.

What is it exactly is the next step here? I am getting a distinct feeling that this may not be the last time we have one of these experiences. Should I just do a better job keeping up with the yard, hoping to keep my neighbor at bay? Ought I go over to my grieving neighbor's house to have a clarifying discussion about yard work etiquette? Should I instead bring a bouquet of flowers with more money stuffed in an envelope?  We send our condolences, as well as this this stack of dead presidents...

Help us out here readers. What do we do next?


*Photo is from Tobyotter at Flickr Creative Commons.

29 comments:

  1. Confusing definitely sums that up. Talk about awkward! I wouldn't have even known what to do if I were your wife. I would have been a little upset that he expected to be paid after saying "I just need to do something." It sounds like he was doing it for his own benefit, not for money. There was nothing discussed about rates. Just seems a little too strange. But then there's the fact you don't want to hurt his feelings as he is grieving...Maybe let some time pass, see if he comes around again, at which point you might bring up this incident nicely and say that he's done enough for you guys already.

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    1. Yeah, there's a follow up to the story but the short version is that he showed up again asking for more money...which my wife again didn't have.

      Looks like I'll have to deal with this when I get home.:)

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  2. Super weird!

    I would've felt guilty only paying $2 too even though it was obviously not your fault in any way! I don't know what I would do in this situation!!!

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    1. I'm in the same boat! Thanks for reading, Holly.

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  3. I have no words to say in this situation. What I really didn't understand here is if he was mowing your yard just because he wanted to be out of house then why did he come expecting some amount in exchange which you never asked for.

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    1. Yeah, I'm a little skeptical about the whole thing but as I wasn't there I figure I have to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.

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  4. Ok, that is just weird!!! I wouldn't feel guilty at all about paying the guy $2. First of all, he said he was doing the job for peace of mind. He reminds me of the guys in big cities who "insist" on washing your car window, then "insist" on being paid for it. Sounds a little bit like the guy may have been playing on your wife's kind heart. Maybe not, but hopefully this will keep him from forcing his way into your budget until you guys decide whether or not you want him there.

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    1. Thanks for that comment, Laurie. I've been feeling some guilt (as has my wife) and it's nice to hear that we're probably off base with that emotion.

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  5. Wow, what a strange experience. I would probably send a card or something expressing your condolences, but the next time this happens you should approach it as a business transaction. Either you want him to take care of your yard, in which case you both agree on a set price and schedule, or you want to handle it yourself and communicate as much. Letting this go on too long will only lead to tension.

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    1. I do get the feeling this is going to be a pattern unless we nip it in the bud. My money says he's going to come back to the house today again...

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  6. Definitely very wierd. I'm with Matt...maybe send a card and let it go. But maybe have a conversation with him about lawn care etiquette so there is no confusion and conflict later on.

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    1. Yeah, a card may be a nice next step to smooth out the next conversation. Thanks, Andrew.

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  7. I agree with the others on sending a card with condolences (but no cash). Keeps the neighborly vibe going. But next time he comes around, decline his services and tell him you're still thinking about it and will let him know. Need to set some expectations / boundaries.

    Or... just keep saying you have no cash on hand and giving him $2 in change. I bet he stops knocking on your door very soon.

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    1. Ha! I wish I had the guts to just keep paying him two dollars. He came by yesterday again asking for more money...I do have two singles....

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  8. How very odd! On one hand, I'm feeling really sorry for your neighbour who's going through a terrible time, on the other hand, I'm thinking how presumptuous of him to just go ahead and do the work and expect paying for it. I guess you never know what's going on in a person's mind... it could be that he really needed the money desperately and is willing to do whatever it takes on the off chance he gets paid. But it's a bit unusual for someone grieving to want to be making money from jobs like this.

    I think, if you don't want to end up in a tricky situation - and this could certainly get tricky - spend more time in the yard yourself. Or say that you like it the way it is. :)

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    1. I do get the feeling that the guy might just hard up for money. He lives with his sister and brother in law in their house, and he's elderly...so it's possible.

      Maintaining the yard myself is probably a necessary step. I just don't like doing it. :( First world problems.

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  9. Wow.........Wow.........I don't even know what to say besides the entire thing is weird. I understand wanting to occupy yourself in a time of grief but expecting to be paid for something you weren't hired to do?..I have no advice to give. It's just so odd.......

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    1. I feel the exact same way. I guess it makes life interesting though. :)

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  10. I loved your humour today - the first world problems and then the stack of dead presidents!!! I think, if I was your wife, I'd hopefully have had the guts to say 'oh, I didn't realise you expected payment - I thought you just wanted something to do. I wasn't really needing the lawns cut etc.' then leaving a gapping pause for him to explain/fill in :p Or even 'Thanks for doing it this time, but I'd much prefer me or DonebyForty speaks to you before you start any work - just to make sure we know what you're doing, and it's what we need done - I'd hate for you to trim a tree we plan to remove' <- a way of hopefully getting him to always ASK before starting.

    My old neighbour once turned up in my yard - and I was in my house, in a bra (no top). My dad told me off - I told my dad that in my house, I'll wear what I like. I certainly don't think it's OK that the neighbour just wandered into our FENCED yard, and I hoped he was uncomfortable seeing me (even if he liked it, weird no?) I'm not sure if anything was said, but he was never in our yard again!

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    1. Oh, that's weird too! I love your response, too: in my house, I'll wear what I like. I kind of feel the same way about our yard...if we want to let it grow a little, then whatever. It's our property.

      Thanks for the kind words! I had some other jokes too, mostly about feeding a stray who keeps coming back, but my wife advised against them. :)

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  11. I wonder if he needed money to help with funeral expenses, or to go to the services. In the area that I live in, there are quite often people on street corners advertising to wash your car (for a donation) to help with the final expenses of someone who has just passed away.

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    1. Hmmm. That's possible. He might need the cash right now due to the death. I hadn't thought of that and thanks for mentioning it.

      I'm leaning towards just giving him more money (maybe $20 for 20 min of work?) but also just having a talk about what we'll do next time.

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  12. I'm never good with passive-aggressive people. I suppose there are two issues here: first, there's the question of whether or not you're willing to pay a person, any person to do your yardwork for you all the time. Then there's the issue of the neighbor going about his particular brand of entrapment.

    If you do want to have someone else do the yard, then it's probably good to set boundaries -- eg., "Here are the three things we want done. Here's what we'll pay. If we want something extra done, we'll ask. Otherwise, this is all we'll be paying for."

    Otherwise, he may just need to be told that you're not interested in him coming over and doing yard work, particularly without asking. It's not that you dislike him as a neighbor, you've just chosen to do your own yard. His feelings may be hurt, maybe even his bank account if he really does need the money desperately -- but it's his responsibility to take care of himself, not yours. If he's in financial trouble and needs help, he should just flat-out ask for the help instead of the sneaky things he's doing now.

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    1. Yeah, I'm not good with those people either. I set a boundary with him yesterday evening when he came by (again!) for more money. I broke my own rule, gave him a 20 from my wallet, and told him we weren't going to have him clean the yard anymore. Not because of his work, but because it doesn't fit in my budget.

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  13. OH that would have been so awkward and I don't blame your wife for just letting him do the yard. But I would certainly have mixed emotions about it too. I'd let this one go, but if he is back and starts doing the yard work without asking first then I think a friendly conversation that is frank would be helpful. That your family is on a budget and not sure that you have decided yet what to do about the yard and that you'll let him know but you appreciate his level of work and dedication. Good luck!

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    1. Thanks, Tonya. I took your advice and told him we had to stop for budgetary reasons. We're down $22 for the whole situation, but we got a story and a mowed yard out of it.

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  14. Dude, that's CHA-CHING! for you! Neighbor learns a lesson and you got a cheap lawn deal. Everybody wins.

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    1. I figured a way to screw it up by giving him a $20, so it looks like I'm the one who got the lesson and he's the one who came out ahead financially. No bueno.

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