tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2980246226076317453.post3240681810538944484..comments2024-03-27T09:17:51.095-07:00Comments on Done by Forty: Trust Fund Baby AF?Done By Fortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06246597867355460723noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2980246226076317453.post-82078184121802235872019-09-08T21:25:11.271-07:002019-09-08T21:25:11.271-07:00"So I am starting to think that we have to te..."So I am starting to think that we have to teach two parallel lessons instead of "how do I teach my rich kid what it's like to be poor" which feeds an unhealthy poverty mindset. Instead maybe the lessons are: how to be a considerate, thinking, and good person, period."<br /><br />That's a much healthier approach, Revanche. (And again, sorry for the very late reply.)<br /><br />I unfortunately am a bit of a class warrior so I think I fall into the trap of having disdain for the rich, even as I have become one of them over time.<br /><br />I certainly hope we achieve that balanced view you mentioned but I do have a LOT of fear that Baby AF might not flourish in all this privilege the way he would in a more typical household. I guess we just have to do our best, see what's happening, and adjust as needed.<br /><br />All the best with young ze. If either of us comes up with something that works, maybe we can share it with the other.Done By Fortyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06246597867355460723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2980246226076317453.post-18151327519925526282019-09-08T13:53:49.171-07:002019-09-08T13:53:49.171-07:00Sorry for the delay in replying, friend. Things ha...Sorry for the delay in replying, friend. Things have been busy planning for our trip.<br /><br />I appreciate the kind words about Baby AF's future. I'd like to think he'll grow into those things and that's certainly our goal. I still have some worries.<br /><br />I hear what you're saying about there always being challenges teaching kids about money. For what it's worth, I have no worries that your kid will get positive lessons out of these experiences.Done By Fortyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06246597867355460723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2980246226076317453.post-65521835469538619962019-09-05T11:00:25.231-07:002019-09-05T11:00:25.231-07:00"The thing I get stuck on is the fact that we..."The thing I get stuck on is the fact that we're going to be raising our children in wealth. We have kind of guaranteed that Baby AF will be a rich kid."<br /><br />You know I've thought about this a lot.<br /><br />And I still don't know the answer but I do work on reinforcing how very well off we are and how much we have, and that not everyone has this. Though not where you are, we have money for food and shelter and only mortgage debt, that's more than most of my family could say when I was young. I just don't think it's going to sink in because ze hasn't seen or experienced any touch of poverty even secondhand. I'm working on it and will share as much as I can in hopes that some of us get some of this right. <br /><br />I had the same disdain for rich kids that I think you had. But when I think about it, that was a class-informed disdain more than a true sense of who people turn out to be. Of course there are terrible rich people, just as there are terrible poor people. The rich are just more visible and can arguably do more harm when they're terrible. <br /><br />So I am starting to think that we have to teach two parallel lessons instead of "how do I teach my rich kid what it's like to be poor" which feeds an unhealthy poverty mindset. Instead maybe the lessons are: how to be a considerate, thinking, and good person, period. Then also how to handle money in a responsible and respectful kind of way. Then MAYBE when you put them together, you get a kid who grew up steeped in privilege who doesn't let money control them and can care about the world around them. Maybe? Revanche @ A Gai Shan Lifehttp://www.agaishanlife.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2980246226076317453.post-30671504035738734802019-09-04T15:46:29.538-07:002019-09-04T15:46:29.538-07:00I definitely think this is something FI folks need...I definitely think this is something FI folks need to consider, though I have absolutely no doubt Baby AF is going to grow up to be a kind, generous, empathic person. <br /><br />No matter how much money one has, there are definitely challenges associated with (a) teaching kids about money and (b) raising kids to have a positive money mindset. I worry with my own kid that he'll look back on these years and think, "My parents didn't have much money and they worried about money..." and then what behaviors will sprout up around that line of thinking? I mean, I hope he's also getting some good lessons out of this, too, and I hope he doesn't feel deprived (because... he's not. lol). But yeah. The $76K Projecthttps://www.the76kproject.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2980246226076317453.post-88604023877521943382019-09-02T18:58:56.593-07:002019-09-02T18:58:56.593-07:00Hi there, Angela.
I can see that perspective, to...Hi there, Angela. <br /><br />I can see that perspective, too. There are a lot of good ways to raise a child in. And thanks for the encouragement. I at least am thinking about this stuff, which is probably a decent first step.<br /><br />Have fun at FinCon, friend.Done By Fortyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06246597867355460723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2980246226076317453.post-51028942145437250252019-09-02T18:58:00.267-07:002019-09-02T18:58:00.267-07:00I was thinking about you when writing this one, Jo...I was thinking about you when writing this one, Joe. You're one of the few FIRE writers I've seen try to tackle this issue: the notion that financial independence might have some detrimental effects on children who see their parents stay at home and not work.<br /><br />That's great to hear that he's also frugal by nature and that you're teaching him to hustle. It's quite possible my fears are unfounded, and that the kids will turn out all right.Done By Fortyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06246597867355460723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2980246226076317453.post-66785983518505635222019-09-02T11:35:17.598-07:002019-09-02T11:35:17.598-07:00There are so many good scenarios to raise a kid we...There are so many good scenarios to raise a kid well in, and just by penning this struggle makes me think you’ll do all right ;)Angela @ Tread Lightly Retire Earlyhttps://treadlightlyretireearly.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2980246226076317453.post-47229548179955292282019-09-02T09:46:40.062-07:002019-09-02T09:46:40.062-07:00I have the same dilemma. My parent grew up in pove...I have the same dilemma. My parent grew up in poverty and it gave them a lot of perseverance to get through life. I experienced poverty for a just a few years when I was young, but it was enough for me to know it. <br />My son is very privileged, just like your. He lives a very comfortable lifestyle. Fortunately, he is very frugal by nature. I'm also teaching him to hustle and make some money on the side. It's okay so far. Hopefully, it'll work out well in the long run. He needs a lot more grits to get through life. retirebyfortyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02180702594001358403noreply@blogger.com